


A Grief-Stricken Secret

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, klance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 03:48:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10982730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Fine," he finally says. He jerks himself away from me, and sits up with his legs over the edge of the bed, looking like he's ready to bolt. "If that's how you want to play, then I'll fucking play." I feel my blood run cold as he turns around and gives me the iciest stare I have ever seen. "I'm going back to Earth, and from this moment on, I never want to see your fucking face again." He gets up without another word and silently walks our the door, not even bothering to give me one last glance.I shift my gaze over to the slightly ajar door, and close my eyes as if it will stop me from seeing the huge mess I've created. I'm sorry, Lance, I think to myself. My entire body is trembling, and it feels like my insides are on fire. But it's the only way I could get you to go home.





	A Grief-Stricken Secret

"And I guess I just keep thinking about it. You know, when we finally get to go home - er, back to Earth, I mean."

My heart drops. I already know what Lance is going to say, and just thinking about it makes me want to run out of the room. He sounds so sad and defeated, and part of me just wants to hold him in my arms forever, never to let go, while the other wishes to just disappear completely. It was never my intention to hurt him, and I can feel hot tears well up in the corners of my eyes as I think about what I've been doing to him. I can tell myself over and over that I didn't know, or that I wasn't aware, but Lance and I both know that that's a huge lie. He deserves so much better - to be with someone that won't damage him in the way I have, but...even knowing that, I just can't seem to get myself away from him.

"I overheard you talking to Coran and Allura," he starts again, interrupting my thoughts. The slight tremble in his voice almost makes me lose it, and he places a gentle hand on my cheek in a small gesture of comfort. I don't deserve it, but I'm grateful that he's at least trying. That makes one of us. Lance is the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I have no right to be treating him like I do. The last few weeks have been tense, and I guess I've been more or less giving him the cold shoulder as some sort of stupid defense mechanism. We defeated Zarkon and his armies, and all sorts of excited talk about going home has been radiating within the ship ever since. Everyone is super pumped to be getting back to their hometowns and families, and I suppose that that's exactly why I've been trying - and failing - to cut myself off from Lance. "I was coming back from the pool. I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I just had a question for Coran, and when I was about to open the door, I noticed you were in there and I-" His voice cracks, and every part of me starts screaming at me to put my arms around him, to touch his face, to do _something_ , but I can't. I just sit there and stare at him, watching the tears slide down his cheeks and onto his chest.

It takes a while for Lance to compose himself, and the two of us just sit in silence with nothing but the tick of his alarm clock to keep us company. I want to jump off of his bed and run for the door, but I can't get my legs to move. My body won't respond in the way I want it to, not with Lance right in front of me, especially like this. My mind says to run away, but my body says to stay and comfort him. I reach forward and take his hand in mine, and for some reason this just makes him cry even harder. I can feel a mortified look begin to appear on my face as I try to pull away, but he won't let me. He grasps my hand and intertwines his fingers with mine, and pushes me down onto the bed. I cry out a little in fear of falling off of the edge, but Lance's firm hold on my hand prevents me from doing so. I should have known better. He would never let me fall, literally or figuratively, and this time is no different. "Lance, I-"

"Why didn't you tell me?" He lunges forward until his body is completely on top of mine, our fingers still intertwined with my hand above my head, and our faces no less than an inch apart. I know what he's referring to, and I know that I should answer him, but I can't get myself to think straight with his body being pressed so closely to mine. "Why didn't you tell me? Did you not think that I deserved to know? For fuck's sake, Keith, of every single person in this goddamn fucking ship, I think _I'm_ the one you should have confided in _first!_ " His breathing is ragged and the tears that were there before have multiplied, and are falling in a steady stream now. I flinch as they hit my cheeks and forehead, and I want now more than ever to just push him off of me and bolt. Everything he's just said is true, we both know that, and he knows that I know that, but I still can't bring myself to give him a proper answer. Lance lowers his head until it's resting on my shoulder, and I can feel his entire body trembling as he says his next words. "Why didn't you tell me that you're not coming back to Earth?"

I'm appalled at my own cowardice, but I just don't know what to say. I never did, and just wrap my arms around Lance's bare torso in yet another weak attempt at comforting him. I wanted to tell him, believe me. It's been eating away at my conscious, as is the fact that I've been going out of my way to avoid him for the last few weeks. My mental health is completely shot, and it's all because I've been too afraid to mention to the love of my life that I'd be leaving him. I was too afraid of what he would say, but seeing him like this here and now, it makes me regret everything. I should have told him right after I spoke with Coran that night. I knew he eavesdropped. I knew he was standing behind the door, but I chose to ignore it instead of dealing with it like I should have because I thought it would be easier. I thought that if I made him hate me enough, that saying goodbye would be cake, simply because there would be no goodbye. I thought I was doing us a favor, but having Lance sob on top of me like this has made me realize that I couldn't have chosen a worse way to go about the situation. I run my fingers through his hair, and leave my hand resting on the back of his head. I know I should say something, but at this point, I know nothing, not even an apology, will be able to fix the damage I've already done.

I don't know how much time passes, but eventually Lance composes himself enough to be able to change positions. He sits up a little, and turns his head so that the two of us are looking at each other now. His eyes are swollen and red, and I'd be willing to bet that mine look about the same. He touches my cheek like he did earlier, and leans forward just enough to give me a small peck on the lips before pulling back again. I don't want him to pull back, but I don't make any effort to do more, either. I tried so hard to detach myself from him, but upon feeling his lips on mine, even for only a split second, I realize that all of my efforts were lost the second I began to try. There is nothing in my power - in anyone's power - that will ever be enough to make me forget such a wonderful man. Lance is my everything, and no amount of trying to distance myself from him will make me suddenly lose that.

"If you're staying here, then so am I." There's a stubborn note in his voice, the same one that made me first fall for him three years ago, and I feel my heart drop to the floor when I think about how easy times were back then. "I'd rather be happy with you than to be unhappy without you, even if it means staying in space." He crosses his arms over his chest and leans his head back onto my shoulder, as if to tell me that he's already made up his mind.

"I won't let you," I reply, shaking my head back and forth. "I won't let you abandon your family for even longer than you already have, especially not for me. You have to go back, Lance. You're not an orphan like I am!" It's been three and a half years since we found the blue lion and wound up in Allura's castle, meaning it's been three and a half years since anyone on Earth has even heard from or seen us. For all intents and purposes, they probably think that we're all dead, and I'm not about to let Lance's family keep thinking that. He has to go home, even if I have to shove him into a pod and eject it without his consent.

"But what about you?!" He turns around so fast that he almost knocks me off of the bed, and the look on his face is absolutely terrifying. "What about you, Keith? And what about us? Did these last three years mean nothing to you?!"

He's visibly shaking now, and it takes every bit of strength I have not to react. I want to tell him that I love him, and that I really don't want to stay in space for the rest of my life. I want to tell him that the only reason I decided to stay with Coran and Allura is because I'm afraid. Ever since we found out I'm half Galra, I've been terrified of going back to Earth. The government will without a doubt want to know what we've been up to, and the thought of being taken and experimented on because of my origins haunts my dreams every night, to the point where I don't even want to sleep anymore. I want to break down and tell Lance everything, but I don't. I just lay here, breathing heavily and avoiding his eyes the best I can, just waiting for him to react.

"Fine," he finally says. He jerks himself away from me, and sits up with his legs over the edge of the bed, looking like he's ready to bolt. "If that's how you want to play, then I'll fucking play." I feel my blood run cold as he turns around and gives me the iciest stare I have ever seen. "I'm going back to Earth, and from this moment on, I never want to see your fucking face again." He gets up without another word and silently walks our the door, not even bothering to give me one last glance.

I shift my gaze over to the slightly ajar door, and close my eyes as if it will stop me from seeing the huge mess I've created. _I'm sorry, Lance,_  I think to myself. My entire body is trembling, and it feels like my insides are on fire. _But it's the only way I could get you to go home._


End file.
